emos, spandex, and perfect chin snogging
by xoxoxJullie Sweet Holicxoxox
Summary: Feb. 9- I woke up and I was still in hell Maito Gai left that Godforsaken notebook for me to make journal-diary- entries. He say's it will bring out my inner prep, therefore down toning my raging emo girl within. " This is the beginnings of something incredibly jacked up."
1. Chapter 1

The secret diary of sasuke uchiha

a/n: tried to write this once but it got removed for stupid reasons so I'm just going to go with my gut here and post the first version of it. Wrote this story a few months ago. Enjoy it or get off this page. Flames will be ignored, reviews highly appreciated. This is slightly AU and a nit OOC. Just my interpretation of sasuke. Proceed with caution.

...0

February 8- also known as when hell opened up and swallowed me

What kind of person am I? I thought I was stronger than this. I've been through all of life's quaries and b.s. yet some how I get swindled into: therapy?

I don't need a shrink, darn it! But apparently some people(assholes) say other wise.

"sasuke, you're emo. You need therapy." Lady tsunade said bluntly.

"wait, where is this coming from?" I wanted to know. Usually when someone calls you to their office they offer you a seat and something light to sip on. The second my right foot entered the portal she said this.

"you've been slacking on your missions. Therefore I want you to go to regular therapy sessions to heal your emo-nosity!"

"you can't heal the scars," I said solemnly, thus proving her point.

"sasuke, I've set you up with the best therapist I know. You can find him in Mr. Rodger's neighborhood."

"wait, where is that?" boy was she confusing.

"on sesame streeeeeeeet," she slurred.

"oh, I get it. You're drunk tsunade-sama. Well this has been a clear waste of my time. Toodles." I readied to leave but turned to a full face of green spandex and cargo.

"Hello there! How's life treat'n ya?"

Gag. Barf.

"outta my way, weirdo." I tried to shove pass him(maito-gai) but he once again stepped in my way.

"I knew tsunade-dono might be a bit—at-all-time-high – trashed so I came to let you know: I'm your new therapist!"

*insert ten minute long scream that sounds just like Kristen stewert's horrible impression of Bella*

"You're WHAT?" I gasped so loud I'm sure I was heard by naruto at ichiraku's , kakashi at the training grounds, and neji at the gay bar.

"you're new therapist. And for starters I want you to lose your emo ways and come into the light of the youth!" Gai said into a mic. That came from, like, nowhere.

"Rot in a dumpster, dude." I tried to leave but once again super spandex jumped in my grill.

"We'll start by not wearing so much black." He said with a thumbs up.

"but I'm wearing blue and whi—.."

"NO BUTS" Gai piped, pointing to his green spandex clad one. "we begin the simple way. Expressing our youth in these!"

I nearly barfed all over my sandals.

"I am NOT wearing that!" I argued.

"Now now, Sas-gay. Oops! I meant, SASU- KE!"

He's crossed the line. Somebody get him out of here before I go totally ape shit on this wacko.

...0.0.0.

Feb. 9- I woke up and I was still in hell

So you probably wanna know how I came to owning this journal. Well it was bright and sunny day, me and my stalker- I mean, friend Narutard- I mean, Naruto were on our daily chase- I mean walk. So I was walking ahead, doing my best not to get caught by that idiot- I mean… by that idiot when out of nowhere, the wanna-be green beast wonder pops up. His hair looking more rice bowly than ever.

"I am Rock Lee!" He introduced himself.

"Dude, we know who you are." I grit my teeth in annoyance. Because of the fagatized interruption, the dobe was able to catch up to me.

"Good race, teme. But next time you shouldn't trip me and hide in that alley. It almost seemed like you were avoiding me." Naruto giggled. _Giggled. _Pansy.

"I was you blond buffoon." I scowled but he was too busy being stupid to notice.

"Well, sasuke-kun! I come with messages of youth!" Rock Loser shoved an Emily-the-strange notebook in my face.

"it's so cute. I- I- I mean, why are you giving me this?" I stuffed my quivering hands into my pockets.

Broccoli shrugged(Get it? His name; he wears green? Ah, fugheddaboutit.)

"Gai-sensei did not tell me why but there is a letter on the first page addressed to you that I swear I did not read three times on the way here," Smiles brightly.

"I didn't ask."

"oh? What? Uh… Be there in a second! Good bye Naruto-kun, Sasuke-kun! The youth calls!" and he sprinted off into the sunset.

...0.0.0.

So I hate reading and writing letters so I'm just going to tell you what it said. Maito Gai left that Godforsaken notebook for me to make journal-diary- entries. He say's it will bring out my inner prep, therefore down toning my raging emo girl within.

" This is the beginninings of something incredibly jacked up."

**A/N: okay dokey you have your new prologue and because it's SUMMER VA- French toasting- CATION, you have been rewarded with weekly updates! I hope you like it so far. It gets better. I wrote a while ago so bear with me here. A lot of my cooler stories are on so if you want to read them just search my name. both are on my bio. Otay well I rambling now so uh… REVIEW.**


	2. FML

The secret diary of Sasuke Uchiha

Chappy 2

...0.0.

Feb. 10- can I go home now?

"Hi, Sasuke!"

"Bye, Suck-ura."

"Awww, sha-suke, you're so cute."

"Back off, no body!"

"Let's go on a date."

"Never."

"c'mon. Don't be such a emo."

This conversation is over.

Feb. 11- WTF?

Doing some mission training when out of nowhere, jiraiya pops up out of like nowhere, and says things that seem to come from nowhere. Nowhere.

"Hey, rising horn dawgs. How've ya been?"

"Pervy Sage, Treat us to ramen!" Naruto demanded.

"Wait a second, that's our thing!" Iruka popped up from the bushes.

"why are you in the bushes?" I asked the question we aall wanted to know.

"Well, uh.. er- tha- that is uh.. WHY IS ORO-PERVERT IN YOUR PANTS?"

"o-kay?" we all cringed.

Feb. 12

"Hey, Sasuke. Wanna see a movie?" ino asked boldly, tossing her radiant golden locks behind her shoulder. I stared at her in awe, her glistening petal pink lips forming a grin. You know my answer.

"Go. _Away."_

Feb. 14- i'm an emo girl, in an emo _woooooorrrrlllld_

I've decided to do something constructive with my life. Well I mean, writing in this stupid book is productive in itself but I mean like seriously people are starting to wonder why I'm always kempt up in my room in the dark. The most popular rumors are that I've finally discovered uchiha's have hormones , and I'm jacking off to pictures of magan fox.

Da French toast? That's ridiculous. RI-DIC-U-LOUS!

It's Jessica alba.

So about my product-construct-ivitnosity, I've decided on getting a job. You know, make a bit of pocket change to do stuff. I don't know what kind of stuff.

Feb.13- same day

"So you're Sasuke Uchiha, un?" Said my long blond haired co-worker. Yep. I got a job the morning I decided to get one. Good looks _do_ come in handy. It's at this awesome store called hot topic where they sell dark make up, chains, vampire fangs, and junk. Gai and Tsunade will never let me live this down. It's emo heaven.

"Yeah, and I'm guessing you're the manager Deidara."

"Un. In this place there's only two rules: Don't touch my mamma and don't touch my doritos."

"Whaaa?"

Feb. 14- chocolate day!

Who the cupcake goes to HOT- _fucking-_TOPIC, to get their mate's valentine's gift's? nobody even knew I was working here(heck, nobody even knew konoha had a hot topic) until fat head haruno blurted it out to the entire land of fire.

Hiding in a rack of clothes.

o.o I see carnivores….

Feb. 15- more chocolate

So now my small crumby apartment is piled to the world's end with v-day candy. I can literally swim through it to my bathroom.

**A/N: there was more but I have to go. Bye!**


End file.
